Emotionless
by mtd4417
Summary: Songfic--someone expresses their feelings about their dad who walked out on his family many years ago. not what you would expect. RR!


A/N: hey everyone. this is an attempt at making a songfic out of Good Charlotte's "Emotionless". i hope u all like it. please RR!!

disclaimer: i do not own recess, any of the characters, or this song!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

****

Hey dad.

All his life, or ever since he was about seven or eight, his father had not been around. He had walked out on his wife and three kids when the kids were all very young. Now that the three kids were older, they were all taking their father's absence hard, especially the middle child. No one knew why it made such a bigger impact on his life than his other two siblings', but everyone knew that it did. Ever since his dad had left, he had been furious at him. How could you be so heartless, so inconsiderate as to walk out on your family? That is something that could just not be understood by anyone in the family. Sure the kids had learned to live without a father. In fact, they turned out just fine with only a mother, but they all still wondered what it would have been like if their dad had been there with them. Once again, the middle child is the one who mostly thought of this. Now this boy sits in his room remembering the seven years he did get to spend with his father. He picked up a pen and began writing a letter to his dad explaining his feelings teh best he could.

****

I'm writing to you.

Not to tell you that I still hate you.

Just to ask you how you feel.

And how we fell apart,

How this fell apart.

He wrote somewhat about his life and his brother and sister, not because he wants his dad to come back, but because he wanted his dad to see what all he left behind when he made the decision to walk out on them. He asked him why he left. He asked him many things, but he knew he would never get a response. He knew this because if his dad cared about him and his family, then he would still be there and his son would not be writing him a letter stating how mad everyone was at him and how unwanted he is in the family now that he is gone. Also included in the letter, he said that he hoped his father was happy now because even though he may be missed sometimes, he is not and never will be wanted in his family again.

****

Are you happy out there in this great wide world?

Do you think about your sons?

Do you miss you little girl?

When you lay your head down how do you sleep at night?

Do you even wonder if we're all right?

Well we're all right.

Yeah we're all right.

The boy thought carefully about what to say to his father next. He decided to tell him how he and his siblings and mother had been getting along without a dad, or in his mom's case a husband, in their lives. Well, it wasn't very easy to live without two parents taking care of you, that's for sure. He mentioned how hard it has been on everyone. He told his dad that he used to think he was a hero, but once he walked out on his family, that was no longer true. Now, his dad meant nothing to him at all.

****

It's been a long, hard road without you by my side.

Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried?

You broke my mother's heart

You broke your children for life.

It's not ok, but we're all right.

I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes.

But those are just a long, lost memory of mine.

I spent so many years learning how to survive.

Now I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive.

The boy put down the pen and read over his letter. This letter was bound to make him realize what a jerk he was to walk out on his family. As he thought of his dad, he looked down at himself. Grieving over the fact that he and his family were not good enough for his dad had made him change so much. Now he was covered in piercings and tattoos. His black hair was spiked up every day. He was never like this before. Only after his dad walked out did he change so drastically. Everyone knew why he did it. This was just his way to grieve over it. To change. Now he looks up at the sky through his window and remembers some times he had with his dad before he walked out. He wanted to forget these times along with his dad for good. But he knew that would never happen. He would have these memories forever.

****

The days I spent so cold so hungry.

Were full of hate.

I was so angry.

The scars run deep inside this tattooed body.

There's things I'll take to my grave.

But I'm ok.

Yeah I'm ok.

Now he thought about his family. His older brother grieved for a while after their dad walked out, but he seemed to be able to get on with his life. He had his friends and his job and everything he needed. He always had support. Well, that was his older brother for you. He was so lucky. Now this boy thought about his younger sister. She changed too. Their dad walked out when she was only about three so she doesn't remember much of him. She did know the whole story of him, however. That is why she is the way she is. She used to be a sweet little girl who everyone loved to be around. Well, that was no more. The boy sighed. In the end, after all the suffering and grieving over the loss of their dad, the kids had turned out ok. They all had friends and family to support them.

****

It's been a long, hard road without you by my side.

Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried?

You broke my mother's heart

You broke your children for life.

It's not ok,

But we're all right.

I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes.

But those are just a long lost memory of mine.

Now I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive,

Yeah I'm still alive.

Now, looking back on his memories with his dad, he realized that he did have some fun with him. How he wished they could only have all that fun again. But he knew that would never happen. He sighed and turned out his light before crawling into bed to try and sleep.

****

And sometimes I forgive.

Yeah and this time I'll admit

That I miss you.

Said I miss you.

As he noticed that he could not get to sleep he tried to quit reminiscing about the past. He knew that he and his sister and brother and mom were ok. He was engaged. His brother was married and was expecting a kid. His sister had a boyfriend. As for his mom, well, she is getting along great just watching her children grow up. After all the pain and suffering, they were finally ok after all.

****

It's been a long, hard road without you by my side.

Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried?

You broke my mother's heart

You broke your children for life.

It's not ok, but we're all right.

I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes.

But those are just a long lost memory of mine.

Now I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive.

Laying in bed just a few moments away from falling into a peaceful sleep, Joey Spinelli finally felt he was able to go on with the rest of his life and be happy, once again, with his family and his fiancee. But nothing will ever change the fact that Joey and his family will always be missing someone in their hearts......... their dad.

****

And sometimes I forgive.

Yeah this time I'll admit

That I miss you.

I miss you.

Hey dad.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: i know that was very odd, but unexpected. sorry if u got kinda confused in there with no names. i hope this made at least a little sense and that u all liked it. please RR!!


End file.
